Are You Unsure Whether Divorce is the Right Move for You?

Anyone who is seriously contemplating telling their spouse that they want a divorce may have questions about whether divorce is really the right step to take. If that’s the situation you find yourself in, it may be valuable to do a little more reflection. Mental health worker Mandy Kloppers has developed a series of questions that can help you make the right move for you.

The Queries 

Questions cover feelings going back to the very beginning of the marriage, and cover everything up to how you feel right now. Some of the key probes include explorations into:

1. The motivations that led to your getting married;
2. Emotions you experienced at the time you got married;
3. Whether or not you love your spouse now;
4. Motivations keeping you together;
5. Characteristics you appreciate about your spouse;
6. Portrayals of the way your spouse treats you;
7. The ways in which you wish you were treated;
8. Examples of the ways you treat your spouse;
9. Moments when you were happiest in the marriage;
10. Your current level of satisfaction;
11. Things you would modify to improve the marriage;
12. Whether you believe progress is possible, and why you feel that way;
13. What you’ve contributed to make things better;
14. Reservations you have about remaining married;
15. Apprehensions you have about divorcing;
16. Trepidations you have about your children going forward;
17. Your intuition about what you should do.

Clarity Through Writing 

Kloppers recommends speed-writing responses to the enquiries—simply scrawling down the first thing that comes into your head. When you aren’t sure of what to write, start a sentence with,“ I want…” and see what follows. After going through the entire list, sit back and read your responses. See if anything angers, surprises, saddens, or uplifts you.

Next Steps 

What you’re really looking for is inner peace around a difficult decision, right? And you know that you are facing a strenuous emotional journey when it comes to divorce. A huge part of it will involve owning your role in the unraveling of the marriage. Sure, it’s going to require some pluck to take a good look at your part in things– but self-awareness is the key to moving forward. While it’s pretty easy to blame your spouse for their missteps, analyzing your own mistakes can take real strength. Acknowledging the decisions and actions that led you to the present moment can be invigorating, though it can take time and involve a rollercoaster of sensations. Eventually, it can give you the lucidity to make the right decision for yourself & your family.

Is This the Right Moment? 

If you conclude that divorce is the right choice for you, the experienced Boca Raton divorce attorneys at WiseLieberman can help. We always strive to achieve the best results for you. To discuss, schedule a confidential consultation in our office today.

Source:

huffpost.com/entry/selfawareness-it-paves-th_b_8943912