Divorcing with Dignity

Divorce is never easy, but when you have to deal with a spouse who is angry and bitter, things can really get tricky. You know you want to get out of the marriage, but destroying one another in the process wasn’t part of the plan. So how can you handle a toxic spouse who is making every step of your divorce miserable?

Remember Who You Are

First, and most importantly, stay grounded in your perspective, values, and goals. You aren’t, and don’t have to be, perfect. You just have to be a good person. Whether or not you get unpleasantries thrown your way, don’t let go of that. Try to collaborate. Get support when you can, and try to work toward a win/win situation.

Understand Where Your Spouse is Coming From

Is your spouse angry? Feeling gut-punched? Feeling broken? Whatever the case, you may get lots of negative energy directed at you. Instead of automatically responding in kind, try to look at things from their perspective. You may view the upcoming divorce as a chance to begin anew, but to your spouse, it may seem like nothing more than being left behind.

Deal with Cruelty

Particularly if your actions have led to a major power shift, your spouse may be left feeling small and worthless. That can lead to attempts to shrink you. Don’t let it. Insults may be hurled, lies may be told, revenge may be sought. But none of that changes the fact that you are on your way to a new life, so ride the storm with your head held high. Stay positive. Tell the truth. Soften the outcomes for your spouse when you can.

Stay Calm in the Face of Manipulation

If your spouse can’t control you anymore through brute force, manipulation may be the next best thing. It can be beyond irritating to have to deal with this person who is doing everything possible to make life difficult for you, but giving in to that irritation won’t help you achieve your goals. Stay calm, set reasonable boundaries, and stick with your plan to be a good person, always. You may not be able to change your spouse, but you can leave the marriage knowing you did your best to leave a dash of kindness and dignity that they will hopefully appreciate at some point down the road.

Set a Good Example 

This may be a good time to prove that life lessons come from difficult experiences. Your behavior will be observed by others–from your own children to your family, friends, and colleagues. Your example can lift not just yourself–it can help others to understand that life can be tough, but it’s possible to meet the challenges. 

The Advocate You Need

The dedicated Boca Raton divorce attorneys at WiseLieberman always work to achieve your goals in divorce. To discuss your situation, schedule a confidential consultation in our Boca Raton office today.