Do You Need to Be Concerned About Your Adult Children if You Divorce?

When older couples choose to divorce, they may feel entitled to do so without conferring with their children about it. After all, they stuck with the marriage for many years, raised a family, and got the kids off into their own lives. Now the kids are adults. How much could their parents’ divorce possibly influence them at this point?

Challenges of Grey Divorce 

Grey divorce, like any divorce, is complicated. Partners may feel angry, betrayed, sad, and anxious. Decades of companionship and habits are being turned upside down; who wouldn’t feel perplexed and adrift? What’s going to happen with living arrangements, health insurance, and retirement plans? Managing these and other questions and feelings is an undertaking in itself. Having to address the feelings of full-grown adult children may be more than anyone can be expected to be up for. But assuming that because they are adults your children will be just fine could be a huge misjudgment.

Effects on Adult Children

It’s altogether likely that your children will be very concerned about you, regardless of their ages. Before this they were dealing with the strains of higher education, careers, or their own young families. Now, on top of all that, they may have questions about the stability of their parents.  Is it possible that one or both parents require:

• More time from the kids?
• A soundboard for emotional woes?
• Financial support?
• A place to stay?

On top of all these issues, how difficult will it be for these adult children to manage their own feelings of shock, disappointment, anger, and sadness? Will they be asked to take sides? Will their relationships with one or both parents wind up crushed by feelings of blame? This is all worth your consideration going forward.

Being There for Your Adult Children 

Although you’re feeling dumbfounded by your situation, you are still a parent. Conceding that your choices impact your adult children is the first step in getting through this with minimal damage. That means you need to listen to them, try to answer their questions with honesty, while sticking to boundaries that are reasonable, and be prepared to help them to envision what holidays and family traditions may become. While you understandably want to put your own needs first, there’s no reason to shut down anxious children. In all likelihood their roles will be shifting, but sharing your concerns, hopes, and dreams can help them to be positive and supportive as new expectations and realities descend on you all. What everyone needs right now is hope. You can work on that together.

The Divorce

The experienced Boca Raton divorce attorneys at WiseLieberman understand that divorce is complicated on many fronts. We are here to provide solid legal support and guidance throughout the entire process. To discuss, schedule a confidential consultation in our Boca Raton office today.