10 Divorce Tips For Men Whose Wives Want Out
Women initiate divorce in nearly 70 percent of cases. Research indicates they become unhappy when the connections with their spouses cool and they start to believe the relationship is going south. When their spouses don’t give the “right” response within the “right” timeline, women sometimes surprise their husbands with the news that the marriage is over. Husbands are then in the unenviable position of needing to put together a plan, and fast. Here’s some advice that could help men through an unexpected split.
1- Although you thought things were going along ok, pretending it isn’t happening is not going to make the divorce go away. Sit down and talk it out– and then get together with a local divorce attorney who can assist you as things progress.
2- Forget trying to talk her into giving you another chance. Even if you think there are plenty of reasons to work things out (kids and money come to mind) if she said she wants out, the window to win her back has likely closed. The fact that she approached you about a divorce means she’s likely been contemplating it over for quite some time. It’s happening; so buckle up.
3- Keep your composure. Be nice. You may have a guttural instinct to punish her for the discord she’s causing. If your emotions are really on the brink and you don’t trust yourself to behave with decorum, keep your distance from her and let your attorney handle all the communications.
4- Think about what a fair settlement might look like, but don’t make any concessions without keeping your attorney in the loop. There are always considerations that you may not fully understand like tax consequences, effects on retirement, and a whole hatful of other concerns. Your experienced attorney will give you the guidance you need to make smart decisions.
5- Don’t put the kids in the crossfire. Your number one job is to protect them and let them know they’re loved and will be safe even though their lives will be changing in the coming months and years.
6- If you are seeking shared or total physical custody, do not move out of your home. Your wife may tell you to find another spot, ask you to move out, or even order you to get out. But do not do so. Staying could give you a better chance of keeping the kids.
7- If you want to limit your divorce liabilities (child support and/or spousal support) by decreasing your income, think again. You categorically do not want to be the kind of man who weasels out of his obligations. Man up and take care of your responsibilities.
8- Allow yourself to feel unhappy or incensed. A divorce can wound you to the core, so give yourself the time and space to heal. In time you’ll be able to manage those feelings; if that’s not the case, get help before they become overpowering.
9- Take care of yourself. Don’t put your physical, social, mental, emotional and spiritual needs on the back burner. Addressing your own needs will make the rest a bit easier.
10- Before hitting the dating scene, get into a clear headspace. You will need time to adjust to the new reality of single life. Rushing things will likely result in difficulties you don’t need or want.
Your Legal Advocate
The Boca Raton divorce attorneys at WiseLieberman are knowledgeable and are prepared to advocate for you as you navigate a challenging path. We work to ensure the best possible outcomes for you in your divorce. Schedule a confidential consultation today.