Devastating impacts of Parental Alienation in Divorce

We’ve all heard stories about the ways in which divorce tears families apart.  But a split doesn’t have to destroy a child’s relationship with either parent.  There are many parents who succeed in assuring their kids that, despite the marriage partnership dissolving, the love each parent has for the kids is stable and strong. Anything less than that is destructive, in both the short- and the long-term.

Manipulation 

There is no disagreement as to the negative consequences for kids who are manipulated to dislike or distrust a parent, whether that occurs inadvertently or purposefully. Experts debate about whether or not there is an actual syndrome  (group of symptoms that consistently occur simultaneously) among sufferers. Whether it’s an official “syndrome” or not, parental alienation clearly interferes with healthy relationships between kids and their parents, and the harm can last a lifetime.

Specific Harm 

It can be emotionally crippling when kids have to “pick” one parent over the other.  Psychology Today actually labels the alignment with one parent combined with unwarranted rejection of the other as a form of child abuse—one that impacts nearly four million kids across the country. They conducted a study of adults who’d experienced this dynamic and saw bewildering revelations. Here’s what respondents in the study told them:

• As children they experienced guilt and fear when they didn’t submit to the alienating parent’s depiction of the targeted parent. They experienced abuse–emotional and physical—in order to get them on board.
• The targeted parent was regularly denigrated as a way of destroying the children’s bonds with the alienated parent.
• Alienating parents inappropriately shared adult-level information with their children in an attempt to gain their sympathy and support.
• Parents often made attempts to limit communications, and sometimes even put physical distance between the child and the targeted parent in order to make developing a relationship more difficult. This was often combined with telling children they were unloved by the targeted parent.
• The basic needs of the children were often neglected as alienating parents pursued retribution against the targeted parent for the divorce.

Impacts 

Children in these who were victims of parental alienation consistently developed serious long-term problems:

• Limited self-confidence and low esteem;
• Difficulty developing resilience and coping skills;
• Trouble forming connections with others;
• Feelings of rage, isolation, grief, and disappointment;
• Problems committing in relationships due to fear of loss;
• Lacking capacity to trust others;
• An inclination toward engaging in abusive relationships going forward;
• Mental health issues, including anxiety, PTSD, and thoughts of suicide;
• Struggles forming and sustaining healthy relationships;
• Guilt for the ways in which they are like their targeted parent;
• Troubles at school, and later, in the workplace;
• Substance abuse, frequently starting at a young age and deteriorating over time.

Have you been Targeted in a Divorce? 

If your spouse is putting your child in the middle of a contentious divorce, the potential consequences to both you and your child could be horrendous.  Courts are always looking at the best interests of the child in a divorce, and parental alienation is definitely not it. The experienced Boca Raton divorce attorneys at WiseLieberman can help you deal with this and other divorce complications. To discuss, schedule a confidential consultation in our office right away.

Source:

verywellmind.com/parental-alienation-syndrome-7965936