Relations with Stepchildren Following Divorce

Everyone knows that divorce can be a convoluted road to travel. Consider a divorce that threatens to take cherished stepchildren out of one’s life!  Because stepfamilies deal with the same challenges facing other families, the possibility of divorce is just as much a reality for them as for any other family.  Navigating the fallout of a divorce that involves stepchildren may be eased with the assistance of a local, experienced divorce attorney.

Do Kids Really Care? 

Of course, the ages of the children combined with the duration of the marriage will have a huge impact on how stepchildren view a stepparent.  One study that evaluated stepchildren’s feelings toward their former stepparents noted that certain factors had a huge impact on children’s attitudes:

• The ways in which family members reacted to the divorce itself;
• Structures of support and resources for the children;
• The biological parent’s attitude regarding the stepchild/stepparent relationship;
• Beliefs of stepchildren regarding who constitutes family for them.

Following a divorce, the idea of kinship is crucial in relationships that are to continue.  Children who consider a stepparent as family are much more likely to maintain a relationship with that stepparent into adulthood.  But since biological and legal ties do not necessarily demand these connections, it is up to the adults involved to create a climate conducive to healthy relations if it is in the best interests of the children.

Best Interests of the Kids

Some parents may long to wash their hands of their former spouse altogether, and may thus resist allowing, let alone promoting, a stepchild/stepparent relationship post-divorce. Nonetheless, parents should be cautious as they make decisions in this area.  It is essential to remember that the length of the marriage may be just a blip in the adults’ lives, but it could represent the bulk of a child’s life.  The attachments formed over that time could very well be deep and consequential.  Encouraging the development of such a relationship could be an important gift to a child who is already struggling with the loss of routine and normalcy that once defined life for them.  Always, always, consider the well-being of children while proceeding with a divorce!

When Stepparents are Denied Access

If you are the brokenhearted stepparent who has been exiled from stepchildren, there are a couple of options you could consider:

• Discuss the circumstances with your attorney to determine if he or she can make a persuasive case for legal access to the kids. In some cases, it may be possible.
• Consider approaching grandparents or other individuals close to your ex who might see the value of your maintaining a relationship with the children. Maybe a gentle nudge from a trusted voice could influence your former spouse to rethink harsh positions.
• Contemplate discussing the situation with the children’s other biological parent. It’s possible you may have an ally there who would be willing to share custodial visits with you.

A Legal Advocate

Whatever the particulars of your case, the knowledgeable Boca Raton family lawyers at WiseLieberman work aggressively to achieve the best outcomes possible in your divorce.  Contact our Boca Raton office for a confidential consultation today.