Adapting Parenting Plans Over Time

For anyone who got a divorce some years ago when the kids were quite young, there was surely some sort of parenting plan devised to accommodate everyone at the time. But as the children get older, are you finding that the plan that was very appropriate for the toddlers falls short of today’s needs? While many parents feel reluctant reinvent the wheel when it comes to parenting plans, perhaps it would be worthwhile to contemplate changes—and to allow older children a voice in the new parenting plan in the process

The Best Interests of the Child 

Parenting plans should address the child’s needs, right?  Isn’t it beyond dispute that those needs evolve as children get older? The custody plan you so carefully developed years ago may be wholly unsuitable for today. Regrettably, the current system doesn’t provide for automatic updates to parenting plans, although that’s not to say changes can’t be made. And as kids enter their tweens and teens, they may have thoughts about it.

Mediation Can Empower Kids 

Ought the kids get all the clout on this matter? Of course not: there is plenty of context to this situation that they can’t possibly understand. But should they have a voice? Why not? They just know that they want to join a weekend club, or to be able to go to parties on weekends, and that the current parenting agreement doesn’t give them that freedom. Revising the plan with even a few tweaks could make a huge difference. That’s precisely why some professionals recommend that parenting plans should be evaluated every few years and fine-tuned as the child’s needs change. Giving children a voice might occur by allowing them to talk in confidence with a lawyer who is trained in mediation. In a recorded conversation, the child can choose to express preferences or not—but they should have the opportunity to say what they wish. And those wishes should be respected, honored, and validated.

The Downside of Kids Choosing 

It’s certainly worth considering the stress kids may experience when asked to express views related to custody. Any child who feels they may disappoint their parent may have trouble comfortably navigating discussions on this topic. Believing they have to choose between parents can lead to feelings of guilt, sometimes leaving kids unwilling to join in the decision-making process.  If this occurs and parents can sense that a change is likely in the child’s best interests, they must approach the topic with love and assurance, making certain the child does not wind up feeling responsible for hurting one parent’s feelings. If the time-sharing plan changes, parents can find new ways to remain involved in the ever-expanding life of their child.

Family Plans That Work 

The dedicated Boca Raton family law attorneys at WiseLieberman understand the delicate nature of finding the right balance in a parenting plan. It’s one of many issues we can assist you with. To discuss, schedule a confidential consultation in our Boca Raton office today.