Can Mediation Help Divorcing Couples Ease The Strain Of Divorce On Their Kids?

Couples divorce all the time in America, and while some manage to do it with civility and poise, others get pretty nasty.  While decency and decorum is always a goal as a marriage ends, it couldn’t be more important when kids are involved.

Parental Friction Hurts Kids 

Studies consistently show us that the actual divorce is not nearly as harmful to children as the pressure they feel when their parents just can’t manage to behave nicely with one another. One study, in fact, found that children whose parents were engaged in acrimonious interactions during and after the divorce scored in testing as more disturbed and maladjusted than average to a significant extent.

To be clear, most of the time in these situations each parent provided a loving, safe environment for the children when away from the former spouse.  Nonetheless, the friction between the adults during interfaces had a markedly negative impact on children.

Smoothing Out the Wrinkles 

If you are concerned about tension that may exist between you and your ex and the impact it’s having on your children, good for you!  Awareness and a desire to address the issue is the first step to mitigating any potential damage. Now take some steps to make the situation as smooth and easy as possible:

• Acknowledge that there are intense emotions all around;
• Treat yourself with kindness and compassion;
• Adjust your frame of mind—view divorce as a new beginning, not a take-no-prisoners war;
• Communicate your goal of a smooth transition for the kids to your soon-to-be ex;
• Share news of the upcoming divorce with the kids together and reassure them that they are not to blame and that both parents still love them;
• Give kids time to adjust to the idea of a split before actually separating;
• Ensure that children will have consistent communication and interaction with both parents;
• Keep conflict between parents out of sight/earshot of the kids.
• Consider counseling and/or mediation during and after the divorce;

How Does Mediation Work?

 During mediation, both individuals and their attorneys meet with a neutral third-party who helps them to address any issues or disagreements between the parties.  With some objective suggestions, compromise often occurs that leaves each party feeling the agreement is fair.  That helps to alleviate tensions between the adults, which means kids are free to love and enjoy both parents without pressure or guilt.

We Can Help 

At the Boca Raton office of WiseLieberman our seasoned Boca Raton mediation attorneys are prepared to assist you in achieving a no-drama divorce. Not only will it be of immense benefit to your children: you and your former spouse will get through the split feeling emotionally healthier and empowered to move forward with the best interests of your children in the forefront. And it doesn’t hurt that mediation is often quite a bit less expensive than a traditional divorce!  To discuss the possibilities, schedule a confidential consultation today.

Source:

apa.org/monitor/nov07/civilwars