Cohabitating During Divorce
Your divorce is a certainty. You’ve already discussed it with your spouse, and you are on the same page. Yet here you are, still living together during this dreadful process. It’s not ideal, but it’s what it is because it was advised by lawyers/will give the kids time to get used to the idea/is the only affordable option for the moment. Whatever the reason, you’ve got to make it work. But how?
Survival Tips
Nothing about this is going to be easy, but it is doable (assuming domestic violence is not an issue.) If you can manage to communicate and interact respectfully, it will go a long way toward success. Sticking to some basic agreements will help:
- Identify the physical boundaries of your home so that you both have personal space. It’s the place you can go to for sleep (a good idea to sleep separately), unwinding, and calming yourself in the event of conflicts, which are inevitable for most couples in this situation.
- Determine who will be responsible for what with relation to the kids. Here’s where communication will be of utmost importance. You will likely both be making adjustments to what you’re used to being in charge of–so you’ll need to be patient and somewhat flexible. The best gift you can give your kids is to help ensure the success of your soon-to-be ex when it comes to handling the kids’ routines, schedules, and expectations.
- Figure out the finances. During this time, you’ll probably be revamping the family fiscal system, which will require yet more communication and planning. The financial realities have changed, and you’ll need to figure out how to adjust to that.
- Be good to each other. Yes, the marriage is ending, but you were together for a reason and are parting with bruises on both sides of the relationship. There’s no need to inflict further harm on your spouse, regardless of the reasons for the split. That means keeping new romantic interests out of sight. In particular, your children will be impacted by your interactions. If those interactions are kind and respectful, it will teach them that it’s ok to love both of their parents, and that good people sometimes go their separate ways.
- Be reliable and trustworthy. It’s important to hold up your end of the bargain at this time, so be where you said you’d be and do what you said you’d do. Critically, avoid withholding relevant information.
- Keep your interactions to a minimum. Get used to the idea of being apart and give your spouse that same opportunity. Another bonus: there will be less opportunities for conflict.
- Make sure you have support. Going through a divorce all on your own is tough, especially while continuing to live with your spouse. So it’ll be nice to have someone to talk to about the challenges, whether that be a friend or family-member or a professional.
Advocating for You
The experienced Boca Raton divorce attorneys at WiseLieberman always work to achieve the best possible outcomes for you in divorce. To discuss your situation, schedule a confidential consultation in our Boca Raton office today.
