Divorce: It Needn’t be Ugly

You probably know that when there is a lot of anger or resentment in a divorce, things can get pretty ugly. But do they have to? The truth is, you can do a lot to determine the tone of your divorce, and can actually choose compassion rather than bitterness. Recently labeled conscious uncoupling, it can be extremely rewarding and worth the effort — and make no mistake — it will require significant effort.

Deciding to be Civil 

Avoiding corrosive interactions will require a conscious choice to treat one another with courtesy and respect. You will need to commit to civility, despite having to deal with someone who neglected, lied, cheated, or betrayed you. Even more insulting — maybe they just became bored with you. Why be gracious instead of beating them up with your anger and resentment? There are lots of reasons — and here are some very good ones:

• Your shared children require love and support from both parents;
• A long, drawn-out process will cost a fortune in time, money, and emotional vigor;Your social circle that is worth keeping intact instead of slicing and dicing;
• Being the topic of town or work gossip is unappealing;
• An emotionally healthy outcome for everyone. It’s possible — so why not?

Space to Let it All Settle in

Both partners in a divorce will probably go through a range of emotions, so giving ourselves  the time and space to come to grips with feelings can make interactions much more genial. While it may seem reasonable or logical to want to get revenge, vengeance is not always practical. Coming to terms with your emotions and moving forward with your divorce in an affirmative manner will require work:

• Take stock of your contributions to the downfall of your marriage;
• Accept that feelings have changed, and your track will, as well;
• Plan for contentment and success going forward.

Let Friends and Family Know

Your family members or besties may be more than willing to come to your aid by running roughshod over your ex, but once everyone in your circle knows your goal to have a civilized split, they can transform their energy into backing you in productive ways. Instead of spending time together thumping on your ex, the effort can be on celebrating the life-lessons you’ve been exposed to and the multiple ways your life will be developing and growing in the future.

It Can Be Done 

There have been numerous successful stories of civilized divorces, and many of them have been quite public:

• Orlando Bloom and Miranda Kerr say they still consider one another family post- divorce and intend to remain a part of one another’s lives indefinitely.
• Ryan Reynolds and Scarlett Johansson still had affable evenings out together following their split.
• Bruce Willis and Demi Moore raised their three children together and continue to share a caring, nurturing relationship years after their divorce.

The Divorce You Want

If you are looking for a genial split, there’s no question that you are the captain of the ship. The experienced Boca Raton family attorneys at WiseLieberman can assist in creating a respectful, productive atmosphere in order to facilitate an amicable split. To discuss, schedule a confidential consultation in our Springfield office today.