How Do You Feel About Living Together Post-Divorce?
Although it seems like a strange idea to some people, more and more divorced couples choose living together as an option after their divorce. For many, the driving force behind this is financial pressures. Is it a good alternative for you?
Benefits to Consider
Certainly, sharing the cost of housing and so forth can relieve a big chunk of the stress couples face when divorcing. Contemplating the economics of running two households on the same income that was previously barely sustaining just one home can be overwhelming, at the very least. Why wouldn’t people who struggle to make ends meet ponder the possibility of cohabitation after their divorce? Sharing a house while carving out specific areas for one or the other makes a lot of sense for them.
And the advantages don’t end there. For couples with children, what could be healthier than having both parents readily available every day? Living in the same home could deliver kids a level of comfort and stability that they might not otherwise have.
Finally, even though couples lose a partner in divorce, by living together they may not have to reorganize their entire lives. Being able to share the workload in the ways they always have means daily routines will be nothing new. That eliminates one more bit of anxiety in a time of change.
The Challenges Worth Weighing
Naturally, if that’s all there was to living together post-divorce, everyone would do it! The challenges to such an arrangement are nothing to shrug about:
- Moving on and building a new, independent life could be tough if your ex is living downstairs.
- Privacy could be at a minimum, becoming especially germane when one or both individuals starts dating. Even if the divorcees are comfortable with the arrangement, the people they want to date may have other ideas.
- There could be significant baggage related to unresolved anger, pain, and resentment, which could make living together analogous to waiting for a bomb to go off.
Rules Might Help
For couples considering living together after their divorce, considering a few basic rules might make to make the whole thing more workable:
- Agree on how to share household chores and childcare. Be sure each person understands their responsibilities and is prepared to meet them.
- Create individual budgets and break out who’s paying for what.
- Identify clear emotional boundaries to avoid reliance on one another in the ways couples tend to do.
- Keep romantic encounters private.
- Do not engage in physical intimacy in moments of attraction or need. It will only complicate things in an already multifaceted setting.
- Work together to help children understand the arrangement and how it is different from staying married. Don’t let kids think their parents are still together when they’re not.
- Treat one another with respect and civility.
Getting it Right
The experienced Boca Raton divorce attorneys at WiseLieberman understand that every divorce is unique, and every couple has different needs and expectations. We strive to help you achieve your goals in divorce. To discuss, schedule a confidential consultation today.
