If Tragedy Puts Your Marriage on the Rocks
Couples who endure severe stress due to tragedy often struggle to stay grounded and connected. Whether it’s a natural disaster that destroys everything you own, having your child die in a horrible accident, or getting diagnosed with a life-altering illness, you and your spouse may be wrestling with feelings of anger, depression, guilt, and frustration. In an ideal situation, partners would pull together to help one another to get through these tragedies. But clearly, there is nothing ideal about these kinds of tragedies.
Growing Apart
After life is turned upside-down, many find themselves feeling more distant than ever from their spouses. Studies indicate that catastrophic events increase the probability of divorce for many couples. That’s because the rhythm of the relationship undergoes significant change, and that is extremely difficult to recover from.
Recommendations That May Help
Oftentimes people simply don’t know what to do with the knot of suffering they’re holding in their hearts. Instead of casting blame and/or growing apart, here are some thoughts that might help you get through the ordeal together:
- Since you are both feeling raw and damaged, you’re going to need some alone time to process what’s happened. Allow one another the space you need.
- While one partner may need to veg out watching television, the other may want to spend hours working on various projects. Maybe one partner desires normalcy, and the other can’t fathom it. These are all common reactions and should be allowed to flourish without guilt. Respect one another’s needs.
- Share what you’re really feeling and what you need with your partner. Be frank in your discussions.
- Don’t let a day go by without letting your partner know how you are doing and finding out where they stand emotionally.
- Some difficult feelings may be erupting, but only if you both believe you can bear your soul without being judged. Listen openly.
- Remember that there are probably other people who you can lean on—allow them to support you, too.
- Don’t let yourselves get run down due to poor exercise, eating, and sleep habits. Pamper yourself with things that soothe, whether it’s taking long walks, listening to music, or immersing yourself in a hobby. Do your best to address the necessities of life, but take time to unwind.
- Don’t think you have to get through this alone. Professional help is available to assist as you work through difficulties. Seek therapy.
- Give yourselves the time you need to heal. Although it will never disappear from your memory and your heart, the pain will diminish over time. Be easy on yourself and your spouse as you maneuver the weeks and months ahead.
When Nothing Works
If you’ve done everything you can and still believe there is no hope of saving your marriages, the compassionate, experienced Boca Raton divorce attorneys at WiseLieberman can help you achieve your goals in a divorce. Schedule a confidential consultation today.
Source:
abcnews.go.com/Health/life-events-lead-divorce/story?id=29960726
