If You’re Married You Need to Be Concerned About Body Language

What is the key to any good relationship? Communication, right! That’s something you’ve been told for ages. But what does good communication look like? Is having a good vocabulary? Simply talking to one another over dinner? It turns out that lots of people send one message to their spouse, but their spouse hears something totally different. According to one relationship expert, that can be a problem when a person’s body language doesn’t match up with the words that are being said. One big sign of trouble: when one partner avoids eye contact.

Why it Matters

 Eye contact is a part of intimacy with your partner. It tells them they are seen and of value. Eye contact can both open and end communication. A partner who doesn’t connect visually may be communicating that they are disconnected or apathetic about their partner. The failure to communicate through eye contact is a big opening for miscommunications. Studies suggest that when there’s incongruity between body language and the words a person is using, it’s the body language that is ordinarily telling the truth.

More Communication Red Flags 

While limited eye-contact is certainly the biggest red flag, there are others that should be addressed, as well:

• When there is too much space between couples when sitting, walking, or talking it can be an indication that one or both partners is dissatisfied in the relationship.
• A partner who presents with folded arms or similar defensive posturing during a conversation can be protecting oneself off from perceived attacks.
• When couples never ever hold hands, touch, hug, or otherwise demonstrate affection toward one another it may be due to a disconnect.
• Furrowed brows, clenched jaws, and frowns are all indicative of high stress levels.

Sensing a Problem 

If your spouse isn’t connecting with you in a way that is decipherable and/or meaningful, there are things you can do to improve the communication in your relationship:

• Ask your partner if something is bothering them rather than assuming you know exactly what is going on with your spouse.
• Instead of blaming them for behaviors you have observed, frame the situation with descriptions of what you’re feeling about your connection. Explain that you feel distant and would like to strengthen your relationship.
• Demonstrate the behavior you want to see from your spouse. If your conversations have you glued to your phone or a television screen, change the way you participate.
• Be sure to listen to what your spouse has to say instead of judging, blaming, or getting defensive. Consider what your partner has to say with fairness, and make sure you’re working to meet their needs in addition to getting your own needs met.

If the Chasm is too Great

If the two of you have simply drifted too far to recover, divorce may be the option you are considering. The experienced Boca Raton divorce attorneys at WiseLieberman are here to ensure things go as smoothly as possible. Contact us for a confidential consultation today.