Infidelity and Divorce: the Aftermath for Both Spouses
When someone has an affair and the marriage winds up in divorce, there are emotional costs for everyone to pay! Don’t fool yourself into believing that anyone gets off easily in these situations.
The Betrayed
The person who was deceived in their marriage by a cheating partner may have to deal with some emotional trauma that impacts their future:
- An obvious challenge might be trust issues. It can be difficult to believe in the possibility of forever love given that your last forever love came crashing down around you.
- Negativity can color everything. No more rose-colored glasses for you–suddenly you may start seeing everything through a gray lens. If you can’t believe in the person you married, what can you believe in? Everything everywhere may seem harsher, crueler, and just plain more unpleasant.
- The feelings that come with a betrayal are impossible to escape, and you never know what might trigger a rush of emotions at the most inopportune times.
- Opening up in new relationships can be difficult. While you may meet someone who seems like a good fit, letting that someone see the real you may feel like too big a risk to take.
- If you do get to the point where a new relationship seems possible, jealousy can pop up and cause real damage. While understandable in the aftermath of what you’ve been through, it’s never productive.
The Betrayer
Life’s not necessarily all roses for the person who had the affair post-divorce, either. Repercussions come in ways you might not anticipate:
- Guilt can put you in a corner when dealing with an ex who feels wounded and bitter after your infidelity. If your former spouse struggles financially, for example, you may feel you have no choice but to help out, since you feel the problems your ex now has to live with were caused largely by your actions.
- Sadly, betrayed spouses frequently allow their resentment to impact the relationship you have with your children. Unfortunately, that could mean children become pawns to try to get even with you for inflicting pain on an ex. Even if nothing is ever said directly to kids, they will be moved by the suffering they see in a parent who feels betrayed. Adult children who know about an affair may blame you for the family falling apart.
- When it comes to blame—be prepared for friends and family to flock to your ex and leave you out in the cold. It can be lonely traversing the future without your old crowd.
Nothing’s Easy About Divorce
To be sure, divorce is tough. That’s not to say the challenges are unmanageable, though. Time and effort can generally help. At WiseLieberman, our Boca Raton divorce lawyers understand what you’re going through and are dedicated to making your divorce as painless as possible. To discuss, schedule a confidential consultation in our Boca Raton office today.
