Is it a Good Idea to Date During Divorce?
Anyone going through a divorce may start to think about dating someone new. Is it okay to jump back into the dating world before the divorce is finalized? While there are good reasons to move forward with this idea under certain circumstances, there are also some major risks. Is dating during divorce the right step for you right now?
Is the Timing Right?
Yes, it’s possible to engage in a healthy dating relationship while waiting for your divorce to be finalized, but only if you are emotionally prepared for it. Is this a step you want to take to enrich your life, or are you hoping to get under your spouse’s skin? Can you be honest with dating prospects about your situation? Are you someone who can take things a day at a time? Are you able to be authentic with yourself and others about your emotions and objectives? What does your attorney say about it? These are just a few of the queries you should analyze very carefully before jumping into the search for dating partners.
Dating has Benefits
There are various ways in which dating can increase the level of enjoyment and stimulation in your life. Rather than sitting around at home alone pondering the end of your marriage, you can be out socializing and appreciating new people and goings-on that can take your mind off of your marital demise. And if your self-confidence has tanked, getting back into the dating scene can give you a lift, enhancing your esteem and giving you a more positive outlook for the future.
Issues to Consider
Sure, getting back out there can be fun—even thrilling! But doing so while still married can have its drawbacks:
- It may give you an excuse to ignore the pain related to your divorce rather than deal with it—which could come back to bite you down the road. Regardless of who initiated the divorce and irrespective of whether it was an unexpected jolt or a consensual decision, there are life-lessons you should be contemplating to some degree.
- Your dating may cause jealousy in your ex, which could minimize cooperation as you negotiate the terms of the divorce.
- Your spouse may think that any new relationship you find existed while you were together and may claim that an affair was a root cause of the divorce. If they can convince the judge of this, it has the potential to subliminally impact the judge’s view of the case and eventual rulings. In Florida the law requires an equitable division of assets unless there is reason to do otherwise. An affair is only supposed to matter to the judge if marital funds were used to support the extramarital affair (gifts, travel, activities, etc.) or if the dating has a negative impact on the kids (moral character is a factor in decisions relating to custody).
- Your dating before the marriage is officially over may simply cause your ex pain, which could feel like kicking someone who’s already down and out.
- Dating might take your focus off of your kids, who really need you right now.
- You may be sending a non-verbal message to your kids that being alone is frightening or too difficult to endure.
- You may have to endure judgements from friends and family, creating more stress and less support for you.
Getting it Right
Divorce can be complicated. The experienced Boca Raton divorce attorneys at WiseLieberman will help you to get it right and fight for the best possible outcomes for you. To discuss, schedule a confidential consultation in our Boca Raton office today.
Source:
leg.state.fl.us/Statutes/index.cfm?App_mode=Display_Statute&URL=0000-0099/0061/Sections/0061.075.html
