Making Sense of Your Divorce When Kids are Involved

Getting divorced can be quite painful, and the angst often lasts long after the final papers are signed, particularly when children are part of the equation.  For some couples, making sense of a life that’s been turned upside down can be a seemingly impossible pursuit. But it is achievable, with a little time, effort, and soul-searching.

Get the Support You Need 

One important issue you need to address is the need for a reliable source of emotional support. That could be a family member or friend, or something more formal like a therapist, support group, or clergy member. The point is to find a way to feel less alone, less lonely. If you can manage to get out of the house now and then and talk with someone who has your back, it can help you creep toward a feeling of normalcy.

Develop a New Liaison with Your Ex 

You rightly feel that you’ve lost your spouse, but that doesn’t mean your connection is completely lost.  Many divorced couples find they are able to reframe their relationship.  In the best circumstances, former spouses can be friends, sometimes even to the point of vacationing together as a family.  At the very minimum, it would be good for both you and your children if you adults could form some sort of united team that collaborates to the needs of the children, such as scheduling, medical issues, schooling and so forth. While the spousal relationship is evermore gone, a new kind of partnership can be fulfilling and purposeful.

 Co-Parenting as a Team 

Now more than ever, creating stability for the kids is critical. You can do this by effectively co-parenting and keeping these ideas in mind:

• Successful, positive communication is the most important issue moving forward.
• Coming to an understanding about expectations and rules will make life much easier for your children. While your parenting styles will certainly not be identical, it’s important that you coordinate about bedtimes, chores, social media, homework policies, and curfews, for example, so kids have consistent expectations.
• Support a healthy relationship between your children and your former spouse. Give the kids the freedom to love you both, and to experience the positive things your ex has to offer. When you do feel like grumbling about your former spouse, do it out of earshot of the kids.
• Model empathy. Your children will absorb the quality and grow when they see you giving your ex a break even when things don’t necessarily run as smoothly as you’d prefer.
• Make well-thought-out decisions when it comes to new partners. It may come as a shock for your children to see you with someone else in a romantic context. When that time comes, be sure all the adults agree as to the role of the new partner in relation to the kids.

Turning the Page 

With time, letting go of the negative feelings associated with your divorce and stepping into a new life with confidence and optimism is truly possible. The experienced, compassionate Boca Raton divorce attorneys at WiseLieberman are always rooting for positive outcomes following divorce.  To discuss your situation, schedule a confidential consultation in our Boca Raton office today.

Source:

cnn.com/2024/03/19/health/divorce-positive-wellness/index.html