Making the Announcement to Adult Children: You’re Getting Divorced
Are you wondering how to break the news to your adult children that you are getting divorced? It shouldn’t be too tough, right? They are adults, after all. Nonetheless, the fact is that many adults absolutely cannot comprehend the idea that their parents are splitting up! After being a constant for their whole lives—change is every bit as devastating now as it might have been decades ago—maybe even more so! So how to handle this tricky step?
Sharing the News
Here are six factors to consider as you weigh how to share the news:
- Prepare: Consider what you might say and how you should say it. Would it be better to deliver the news with your spouse there too, or by yourself? Regardless, stick to talking points that will deliver the necessary information and ideas about the future while demonstrating understanding and support. Emphasize what will remain the same instead of just the changes ahead. Above all, be ready for various possible reactions and stay cool.
- Time it Well: It’s best to deliver the news to all of the kids at the same time, and in person if possible. Without question, each child deserves to hear the news straight from you, not through the grapevine–even the sibling grapevine. Just like a discussion with younger kids, it’s essential to stress that the divorce is a result of your unhappiness—and they are not to blame, nor should they feel apprehensive or uncertain about how they will be affected.
- Resist Oversharing: Don’t gush with blame or justifications! Keep in mind that you want them to maintain a healthy relationship with both of their parents. Just deliver the most simplistic version of the facts without sugarcoating it, paying attention to their body language and questions, and emphasizing that everything will work out.
- Foster Neutrality: Reassure your children that you don’t expect or wish for them to take sides in this matter. They deserve to love and trust their parents, and you deserve their neutrality.
- Give them Room to Process: It could be a jolt to the children, who could be unsure about how holidays and special events will unfold, whether one or both parents will face financial duress, and more. Let them navigate their feelings without judgment while providing what information you can.
- Take Your Time Moving On: Just because they are adults, don’t expect your children to readily accept new love relationships! Give them time to adjust to the divorce itself before asking them to give their blessing to any blossoming romance.
Let Us Help
Divorce can be a painful, complicated process for the people getting the divorce, as well as for their families. At WiseLieberman our experienced Boca Raton divorce attorneys always strive to achieve the best possible outcomes for you. To discuss, schedule a confidential consultation in our Boca Raton office today.
