Men Who Divorce Their Abusers
Without question, any domestic violence situation is about control and coercion—and your situation may be more serious than you imagined. It may seem strange to think of domestic violence as a crime that victimizes men, but the family law attorneys at the WiseLieberman know that what happens behind closed doors in someone’s home can sometimes be surprising. It’s easy to believe domestic violence (DV) occurs against men, especially when seeing some of the telltale signs that suggest a man may be living with this type of psychological, emotional, or physical abuse. If you find yourself in this position you may need help.
Symptoms That Indicate Possible Abuse
The characteristic symptoms of abuse center around changes in behavior or manner, with those changes manifesting themselves in social settings, at work, and/or in changing patterns. In some cases, a man’s clothing and physical appearance may change, too.
Psychological Abuse
If you fear your partner, it may be a result of psychological abuse. If you are feeling withdrawn, depressed, anxious, or even suicidal, it could very well be a response to the treatment you endure from your significant other. In some cases, individuals turn to drugs or alcohol for relief. Many forms of mental abuse can lead to poor mental health outcomes:
- Being criticized and humiliated, belittled, especially in front of others;
- Being required to check in with your partner about your plans, conversations, and whereabouts;
- Having your partner manipulate your kids against you;
- Being falsely accused of abuse or other wrongdoing;
- Experiencing accusations that you are irrational or off-balance;
- Suffering isolation from family and friends;
- Having to capitulate to whatever your partner every want;
- Having arguments due to a partner’s intense possessiveness and jealousy;
- Being threatened when you indicate that you are considering divorce.
Physical Abuse
If physical abuse is escalating and you are physically unable or unwilling to protect yourself from your partner’s heated outbursts, you may find yourself:
- Wearing clothes to hide the scratches and bruises.
- Blaming your cuts, broken bones, and bruises on your own awkwardness and supposed accidents:
- Avoiding social gatherings or missing work due to mental or physical wounds, sometimes without giving an explanation.
If this is familiar, it is time to consider a change.
Why Signs are Often Overlooked
Families, friends, and colleagues miss the signs of DV in men. Even doctors seem to overlook clear signs of abuse. When women go in for an annual exam with their doctor, for example, they are often questioned about bruises or cuts. On the other hand, men’s wounds often go unchecked, partly because even doctors view DV as a gendered event, which means that men are denied the empathy and compassion they need when they show signs of being victimized. Such missed occasions to identify and mitigate situations where men are being harmed can leave them feeling more humiliated and isolated than ever. And because we know that DV tends to escalate over time, they find themselves at greater risk of serious—even fatal outcomes.
Do You Need to Escape a Violent Marriage?
Anyone who is experiencing intimate partner violence deserves help—regardless of gender. If you are in danger, call the police. If you need a restraining order and/or a divorce, call us at the WiseLieberman where our dedicated, compassionate Boca Raton family law attorneys are here to help. Together, let’s end the suffering. Schedule a confidential consultation in our Boca Raton office today.
