Reasons Divorce Might be Best– Some May Surprise You
What does a failing marriage look like? Is it filled with irresistible passion that sometimes becomes frightening and violent? Is it silent and companionable, but also lackluster? Is the relationship sagging because it hasn’t been nurtured in so long? Or is it loud and tumultuous, zigzagging through crazy moods, surprises, and shocks? Believe it or not, any and all of these could be a sign that your marriage is not healthy. Here’s what experts consider warning signs that your relationship is on life-support.
- There’s no conflict: If there’s absolutely nothing worth arguing about, it may be that you’ve stopped caring enough to put up a fight. You’ve simply got to put in a little effort on behalf of the relationship. It’s more than agreeing to disagree; you’re just not interested in one another. After all, they say that indifference, not hate, is the opposite of love.
- There’s lots of fighting, and it’s not fair: Do arguments get bogged down with blaming, name-calling, or other tactics that are more about winning the argument than solving the problem? That’s an indication that the lust for power is outweighing commitment to building a relationship.
- One person is a control freak that becomes violent: Abusive relationships are rarely salvageable because they are based on one person’s desire to control another.
- Your body tells you you’re in the wrong space: Do you shudder at the thought of being touched by your spouse? Do you feel a knot of anxiety when they walk in the door after work? Do you feel exhausted when you contemplate another hour/day/year in your marriage? Maybe you should listen to your body.
- One of you always pushes the other’s buttons: Is there an attempt to provoke fighting that is subverting the relationship? Underneath, is somebody just looking for a way out?
- You can’t be yourself: Your spouse thinks your sense of humor is childish, your passion for gardening is a waste of time, your love of home remodel shows is a bore. So you drop all of it and try to fit into their interests. Suddenly, you’re just not you anymore.
- You’re just not a team: You find yourself going in different directions, working toward different goals, caring about different issues. Your problems are yours alone, as are your triumphs.
- They’re not your person. They’re just not who you want to call when your day goes awry, or when you get a happy surprise. There’s always someone else who will respond to your news and give you what you need.
- You cannot forgive: Regardless of the transgression, you just can’t get past it. It bubbles underneath every interaction, every plan, every minute of every day.
When it’s Time
Do any of these scenarios sound familiar? If so, divorce may be the next step for you. When the time is right, the experienced, compassionate Boca Raton divorce attorneys at WiseLieberman are in your corner. Schedule a confidential consultation in our office today to discuss your situation.