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Should I or Shouldn’t I? When You’re Not Sure About Divorce


If you’ve contemplated divorce, but just aren’t certain whether it’s the right path for you, you are not alone.  Divorce is a big, usually final, step.  Many people find that it’s hard to know if and when it’s the right time to move forward with it.  So don’t be too hard on yourself if you find yourself sitting on the fence.  Instead, take steps to figure out the best path forward.

1-    Take a good, hard look at your marriage to determine whether there’s any love there worth fighting for.

2-    If you’re worried about a violent reaction from your spouse, keep your thoughts to yourself until you’re ready to act on them.

3-    Stash some money.  You may need It in a hurry if you go forward with this.

4-    Explore the options.  Would some time apart help your marriage?  What about couple’s counseling?  Would your spouse be open to having a serious talk about your dissatisfaction with the marriage and to making some changes?

5-    Think about your own contributions to the marriage.  Have you given it your all?  Or are you so intent at being angry at your spouse that you haven’t taken the time to self-evaluate and make a greater effort?

6-    If you want to give your marriage another shot, go at it full force.  Communicate, commit, and don’t look back.

7-    If you decide that divorce is the best option, put together a plan relating to next steps, knowing there are going to be some tough days ahead. How will you tell your spouse?  What will you ask for? Who will represent you? How will you break the news to your kids? Your family and friends?

8-    Confront your fears.  What are you most worried about in the event of a split?  How can you address those challenges?  Make a tentative plan of action for each of your biggest concerns.

9-    Consider your children.  How will you address their needs moving forward?  Is a divorce in their best interest, too? Will you be able to encourage a relationship with their other parent? Will you be able to keep the fighting out of sight for them?

10- Investigate the divorce laws in the state of Florida.  Make a list of questions to present to a local divorce attorney.  Make sure you understand your rights and responsibilities.

11- Think about practical matters. What will it take to relocate, or will it be possible to stay in the current home without your spouse?  How will childcare responsibilities change? Do you know how to manage the bills and monthly budget? You’d be surprised at the number of items that will spring up unexpectedly and require you to think on your feet.

12- Gather the financial documents you’ll need to proceed—bank statements, check stubs, mortgage and loan documentation and so forth.

13- Be kind—to yourself and to your soon-to-be ex.

When You’re Ready 

When divorce is the right step, the experienced Boca Raton divorce attorneys at WiseLieberman are here to help.  We always strive to achieve the best possible outcomes for you.  Schedule a confidential consultation in our office today.

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