Society and the Invisible Dad Syndrome

There is very good news for fathers when it comes to child custody in a divorce: times are changing. For decades women were recognized as the “better” parent and were given full custody in a divorce, leaving fathers to feel lucky to see their kids every other weekend and maybe one other night a week. But today there are loads of divorces where parents share physical custody, giving fathers equal time with their kids. In Florida, in fact, joint physical custody is the preferred outcome of divorce. Regrettably, despite this legal progress, there is still plenty of bias out there, whether intentional or not, and fathers still tend to be overlooked when schools, organizations, and businesses fail to recognize the role dads play in their kids’ lives.

Shared Custody on the Rise 

In the twenty-five years from 1985 to 2010, shared custody across America jumped from a meager 13 percent to 35 percent. Here in Florida, we lead the nation as one of the first states to pursue laws giving fathers equal time with their children. Although attaining shared custody is no longer the hurdle it once was, employers and others often fail to recognize modern custody arrangements, creating challenges for many single fathers.

Institutional Bias 

According to the old folklore, mothers are nurturers and fathers are providers. These are the beliefs that continue to reign across institutions, leaving fathers to be downgraded to the second string by schools, medical providers, and others. When kids have a problem at school or become ill, moms tend to get a call. Parent-teacher conference notifications often go out to mothers, and dads only get included if their exes think to involve them. Suppositions that fathers are weekend troopers who cheer on the kids at soccer games and who take them camping for a couple of weeks each summer continue to sideline fathers who are fully involved in their kid’s lives. And by the way, it’s not just an issue on the kids’ end. Adults in Dad’s sphere are full of misconceptions, too. Supervisors are dumbfounded to see fathers juggling childcare schedules with work demands, coworkers express incredulity at a single father’s hesitancy to socialize after hours rather than go home to make dinner for the family, and strangers commend dads who seem to be managing wonderfully as “babysitters” even though playing in the park is an ordinary part of a single-dad’s everyday life.

Surviving Misplaced Mindsets 

Not everyone acknowledges that being a dad is a full-time job for you? The upside of this is that you know it, and so do your kids. So keep on truckin’.  Thump on those closed doors and bang down those social barriers by demanding equal purchase in every institution you engage. It won’t happen instantaneously, but that’s ok: you’ll manage just fine.

The Custody Arrangement You Deserve 

If you’re interested in divorce but are afraid of being estranged from your children, the experienced Boca Raton divorce attorneys at WiseLieberman can help. The law is on your side, and we will fight for the custody arrangements that suit you. To discuss, schedule a confidential consultation in our Boca Raton office today.

Source:

theatlantic.com/family/archive/2023/12/child-joint-custody-us-public-policy/676276/