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Some Things That May Surprise You In Divorce

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Anyone facing a divorce knows that life is about to change big time. But what new experiences and emotions are ahead for you? Even if this is not your first divorce and even if you have friends and family sharing their experiences with divorce, this will be a new and different, and probably not altogether pleasant experience. We all know that divorce is different for every couple, and to predict the precise impacts on you is impossible.  Even so, experts say most people can count on being surprised by some of the fallout from divorce.

Divorce is a Business Proposition

 When you think about divorce, you likely focus on the emotional upheaval and the changes to your physical circumstances. While those are certainly major aspects of a divorce, it may surprise you to experience the cold, hard business transaction itself.  There will be decisions to make, papers to sign, and official decrees before it’s all said and done.  The stark formality of divorce is often surprising to people.

 It’s a Huge Relief 

After such a huge disruption to your life, it’s not uncommon to notice the toll it’s taken on your mental, emotional, physical, and even your spiritual well-being.  Just knowing the deed is done can make you feel like a huge weight has been lifted. 

There is Loss 

When it’s all said and done, you may feel a sense of loss, even if you really wanted the split and looked forward to saying goodbye to an arduous relationship.  Many people do grieve the loss of familiarity and routine. Some actually find themselves longing for the early days, so simple and loving. It’s normal to find yourself daydreaming about the good old days.  It may happen out of the blue, when, after feeling adjusted to your new life, a desperate sense of loss suddenly crashes into your psyche.  You may find that you are irritable or that you are experiencing changes to your eating or sleeping habits. If you need to, get counseling to help you get through the tough times.

You Care About the Well-Being of your Ex

 Sure, you wanted this divorce. You thought that once the paperwork was signed you’d be able to move on without lingering thoughts about your former spouse. You may be surprised to find that you actually feel sorry for your ex.  Despite the relationship’s pitfalls, you still care for that individual, and watching their suffering may be somewhat jarring.  That’s ok. It simply means that you are human, and you care about the well-being of someone who’s played a major role in your life.

Loneliness 

You’ve lost your marriage, and with it, your routines, and maybe even a familiar living space.  The regular drive to work and  interactions with neighbors and clerks in local stores are all a part of the past.  More upsetting, some of the friends you once had were forced to pick a side—and they stuck with your ex. As loneliness sets in, take a breath and recognize that new friendships will develop in time.

Parenting will be Different 

If you have children, you’ll be entering a parenting plan agreement that translates to less time with your kids than you’re used to.  Expect emotions around that issue. The whole thing will impact the way you behave as a parent, not to mention in the way your kids handle the changes.  Be prepared for shifts in family relations that don’t necessarily directly involve your ex.

Get Things Moving 

Your divorce is a big deal, and getting things done efficiently is a top priority to the knowledgeable Boca Raton divorce attorneys at WiseLieberman. To discuss your situation, schedule a confidential consultation today.

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