The Aftermath of Divorce: What’s Your Strategy?

Following your divorce, you, like many others, will be dealing with a slew of emotions due to experiencing a huge shift in your obligations, your finances, and your living space. Truly, grief following divorce is very real. While there are plenty of people who adjust to the upheaval with aplomb, many others do not. How will you handle the shift?  One researcher on the topic reports that there are six basic pathways following a divorce, and, depending on your resilience and the circumstances you’re facing, you will likely land in one of those paths. To be clear, landing in one pathway needn’t be a forever placement, as many learn and grow with time and experience.

Six Pathways

That first year following divorce will require strong coping skills as you adapt to the new life ahead. How you handle this time could impact you for years down the road. What pathway will you take?

• Enhanced: These individuals, primarily women, have a healthy survival instinct and are driven to balance both social life and career. Their divorce experience enhanced their lives rather than holding them back. That’s because they were able to identify and focus on goals to be successful.
• Good Enough: Comprising 40 percent of the study group, these are the people who tackle many of the issues they face but who don’t always follow through on big goals like completing a degree or connecting with someone better suited to them. Essentially, the quality of their life stayed about the same after surviving what amounted to a bump in the road.
• Seekers: These folks immediately started looking for a new companion because they tend to want someone to take care of them, they require strong affirmation from a partner, and they have little motivation to figure out life alone. A relationship needn’t be deeply connected, so these people are more likely to throw caution to the wind as they meet potential mates.
• Libertines: This group of mostly men want their freedom. They can’t wait to experiment with new bars, drugs, sex, and/or more. Those in the research group took about a year to sow their wild oats, and eventually either wound up in rehab or just pulled themselves together and figured out how to make their lives work.
• Competent Loners: These well-adjusted and highly competent divorcees have what they need to enjoy and thrive as singles. While not necessarily on the lookout for a new companion, if the right person came along, they’d consider it.
• Defeated: These are the people who become despondent following a divorce. They were very dependent on their former spouse and just can’t handle their new circumstances. These individuals often need professional help to get on with life.

Advocating for You

The dedicated Boca Raton divorce attorneys at WiseLieberman always fight to achieve the best possible results for you in divorce. To discuss, schedule a confidential consultation today.

Source:

medium.com/@doctorbecky/understanding-the-six-adjustment-pathways-after-divorce-e500375edc90