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The Stealthy Approach To Divorce


If you’re seriously contemplating a divorce, before you tell your spouse, you may want to do some heavy thinking.  After all, you’re about to split up the team, and that means the two of you will have different interests and goals at heart.  Now is the time to develop a strategy for moving forward productively, creating the best future possible for yourself and your kids.  Teaming up with an experienced local attorney and exploring your options is a smart move right now.

Consider Keeping Your Plans Quiet for Now 

There are lots of situations where discretion is not necessary.  But unfortunately, that is not always the case.  If you have serious concerns about any of the following, you may want to wait to share your plans:

  • There’s a strong history of violence in your relationship, and you fear things will escalate dangerously if you say you want a divorce;
  • You believe your spouse will likely drain accounts or try to hide assets;
  • Your spouse may seek to harm you by making extravagant purchases and putting you into excessive debt.

Get Your Ducks in a Row 

If you’re certain divorce is the right move, dive in headfirst.  Now is not the time to move in half-steps.  Your decision is made, so make it happen.

  • You may want to start by conducting a little research. You should realize that a wary spouse may be able to track your internet searches, so take steps to clear search queries in your browser history.  Better yet, use a computer in a library or elsewhere if you can.
  • Avoid creating suspicion by maintaining normal routines and behavior.
  • Think about financial independence—something that will be crucial in the coming weeks and months. If possible, build up a secret cache gradually that won’t be noticed.
  • If you haven’t been employed outside your home for a while, think about your abilities and interests and consider making some tentative contacts to get a feel for potential jobs. On the other hand, if you are the family’s breadwinner, start thinking about how your life will change as assets are divided. As an equitable distribution state, you will be parting with a good share of your possessions.
  • Start canceling joint accounts and opening individual ones to eliminate opportunities for sabotage.
  • Avoid confiding in friends and family for now. You don’t want word to get back to your spouse from someone else.  This includes your children, who might inadvertently, or even deliberately, let the cat out of the bag.
  • Determine what the new living arrangements will be. Consider affordability, proximity to schools, work, and public transportation.  If you need to keep your location a secret from your spouse, you may wish to create some distance and have your attorney handle communications with your spouse when the time is right.

Rely on Us 

There may be few you can trust with your secret right now.  Your Boca Raton divorce attorney at WiseLieberman is exactly the person who can help you now.  We will deal with discretion to deliver the best possible results for you.  Contact our Boca Raton office for a confidential consultation today.

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