When Religion is no Haven from Domestic Violence

Patriarchy has played a huge role in religions across the globe for centuries. The idea that women must submit to their husbands is such a dominant tenant in so many religions, in fact, that  domestic abuse can, and is justified in doctrine and in practice. Some believe that all interactions–even violent ones– between a man and his wife are actually consensual, because wives agree to be subject to their husbands’ discipline when they commit to a marriage. Here in the 21^st century, with all that we know about domestic violence, that attitude is not helping women who suffer every single day at the hands of their husbands.

Religious Justification of Abuse 

25 percent of all females in this country—roughly 12 million women—will experience intimate partner violence during their lifetimes. We are beginning to understand that faith communities of all stripes sometimes allow men to rationalize their abusive behavior as a God-given right to govern their wives. Equally important, women are sometimes taught from a young age that it is their duty to submit to their husbands. Deep- seated religious beliefs, then, may lead women who suffer abuse to remain in dangerous settings, considering divorce a betrayal of their faith. After all—‘til death do us part is a very real vow taken by many who are likely not to be primed for the realities of violence in marriage. It is a factor that profoundly complicates the distressing problem of domestic violence.

A Poignant Example 

In one case that has gone viral, Pastor Jonathan Shelley personifies the issue as he defends claims of domestic violence that were leveled against a fellow pastor. The allegations include:

• Multiple instances where the pastor beat his wife with electrical cords;
• The pastor repeatedly slapped his wife in the face;
• Closed fist punches by the pastor against his wife;
• The pastor Bloodied his wife in multiple aggressive assaults.

Shelley is disinclined to condemn his colleague’s behavior, citing that the Bible does not address domestic violence per se.

The Irony of Faith in This Situation

 Factually, domestic violence is not limited to the confines of one particular faith. There is a wide continuum of religious doctrine that provides abusers the rationalization they seek to coerce and control their spouses using emotional, fiscal, sexual, and physical abuse if they see fit. Essentially, men are using religious doctrine as a bludgeon in these situations. Here’s the irony: while religion is often the source of strength and comfort for victims of domestic violence, it is simultaneously leaving them feeling betrayed by the very faith they embrace through their suffering. It can be exceptionally difficult when spiritual leaders instruct women to continue to endure the abuse in order to reap the rewards of the afterlife.

Abuse is Never Okay 

The experienced Boca Raton divorce attorneys at WiseLieberman are no theologians, to be sure. Nonetheless, we understand the complexity that religion can add to the mix when families are plagued with domestic violence.  We believe that abuse should never be tolerated, and are prepared to assist survivors with the legal questions they face when attempting to escape a violent marriage.  To discuss your situation, schedule a confidential consultation in our Boca Raton office today.

Source:

lgbtqnation.com/2024/09/hate-preacher-defends-unhinged-colleagues-alleged-wife-beating-in-shocking-video/