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When You’re Blind-Sighted By Divorce


You thought you made a good couple.  Things felt normal, if not crazily exciting every single day.  You both did your fair share in the marriage and managed to wrap your arms around the American dream: a house, a couple of kids, a 2-week vacation every year.  What else is there?  Apparently, your spouse is ready to find out.  Now.  It was the last thing you ever could have expected, but your spouse has asked for a divorce.  What do you do?

Take a Breath 

It feels like you’ve had the wind knocked out of you, so the first thing you should do is hear what your spouse has said and gather your thoughts. Is your marriage worth fighting for? Are you willing to invest time and money into a potentially difficult rescue effort? Even if you are, is your spouse determined to divorce?  Get a lay of the land.  If divorce is the only option, get your ducks in a row.

Get an Experienced Local Divorce Attorney 

Note: divorce attorney—not your neighbor who’s a tax attorney or your cousin who’s taken some law classes.  You want and need legal advice from someone who knows what’s what when it comes to issues such as property division, custody issues, alimony and so forth.

Assemble Financial Documents 

Your spouse has likely been planning for weeks or months already and has a head-start on this. Make sure you know everything there is to know about your previous tax returns, current assets and debt, loan account numbers, banking information and the like.  You should assemble any documentation related to wages and earnings, weekly expenses, and your overall financial situation. You may need a judge to compel your spouse to share some of this information if you can’t get your hands on it yourself.

Start Closing Accounts 

It’s time to establish individual, rather than joint accounts for financial holdings. This will require cooperation with your spouse, and will likely result in splitting any shared monies.

Refrain from Making Commitments 

While you may wish to continue discussing the options with your spouse as you proceed ahead, do not make any agreements without your attorney’s knowledge.  In many situations, your attorney may be able to read more into general agreements that you may not see, and they will be able to advise you of the best way to protect your interests. If you feel pressured or bullied by your spouse, refrain from discussions altogether and leave it to your attorney to handle the negotiations.

Getting Through It 

No one gets married with plans to divorce down the road.  If the notion of a divorce has been a mind-blowing shock, you need to know that, while not a particularly pleasant experience, it is something you will survive.  A whole new life is waiting for you on the other side.  To help you now, the compassionate, caring, and knowledgeable Boca Raton divorce attorneys at WiseLieberman are here ready to fight for the best possible outcomes for you.  Schedule a confidential consultation today.



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