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Who Suffers The Most In Divorce: Men Or Women?


While there’s no argument that everyone endures the pain of divorce in one way or another, many people may be surprised to hear that, according to research, men have a much more difficult time with a split than women. For any man anticipating a divorce, it might be worthwhile to become familiar with some of the adverse impacts of divorce on the gender in an attempt to address the issues before they become overwhelming.

Health Issues 

Marriage is connected to a longer lifespan for both men and women. While both genders see a rise in deaths following divorce, the rate for men is 1,773 per 100,000, compared to 1,096 for women.  Sociologists hypothesize that one reason may be that men have less practice, and therefore fewer skills, when it comes to taking care of themselves. Statistically speaking, men have a tougher time with anxiety, depression, and insomnia, and experience greater fluctuations in weight following divorce. Some surmise that women typically play a greater role in championing healthy living and communication during marriage, leaving men at a loss when they’re alone.

Identity Issues 

Because men are often the ones who leave the marital home, they find themselves having to redefine their roles as father and man-of-the-house more challenging. Additionally, men are much less likely to sign up for new activities than are women, leaving them feeling isolated and struggling with who they are.

Loneliness Issues 

With only about 20 percent of fathers being awarded custody following a divorce, men experience excruciating loneliness because they cannot be with their children on a daily basis.  When the divorce is particularly bitter and there is little flexibility in a parenting plan, this problem becomes worse yet. Adding insult to injury, it is difficult for men to watch their ex-wives bring new men into the kids’ lives, taking up a role that they no longer fill in the ways they formerly did.

Money Issues 

Both partners in a divorce have to learn to live with fewer resources.  Research indicates that men—typically the  higher earners- face higher levels of downward mobility, including unemployment, following divorce.

Mitigating the Issues 

In order to lessen these and other harmful impacts of divorce, the first step is to get an effective divorce attorney working on your behalf to ensure the best possible terms of divorce are reached.  Beyond that, men should consider the following tips:

  • Make personal health a priority. That means getting proper nutrition and sleep, as well as social interaction.
  • Focus on the positive things you bring to any situation, from your contributions as a dad, a friend, an employee, and beyond.
  • Accept the time limits placed on visitation, and make the most of your time with the kids by planning meaningful and interactive activities. When you can’t be with the kids, connect through Zoom, text, or otherwise when possible.  Above all, don’t put kids in the middle of conflicts between you and your ex.
  • Create a realistic budget as you continue to pursue opportunities for professional growth and upward mobility.

Get it Right 

At WiseLieberman, our Boca Raton divorce attorneys are focused on getting the right outcomes for you.  Schedule a confidential consultation in our office today.



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